change is for tomorrow

On the eve where life could change, shaking skin

conceals emotions not yet felt. I look into tomorrow.

I imagine the person I’ll be. I’m afraid of it.

Of him. Of all the things he can’t quite see.

Standing in oncoming traffic, I dodge the unexpected.

I can’t help but reflect. I see everyone that said

I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. The ones that said I’d end up

on a cruise line. They still scream as they pass me by.

With their voices ringing in my ear,

I turn to my phone as a distraction.

A text from my mother.

You’ll be great, she says, Call me after.

What if death leads to rebirth?

What if the resurrection was real?

What if it happened to ordinary people?

What if I’m no ordinary person?

I won’t know until tomorrow. If this is the change

I sought. I won’t know if he will be the person

I thought. Or if it was worth it, to dream.

I just know it could all change tomorrow.

And if it does, I will be nervous. I will be

the imposter. I will be the one who

could finally be grateful. Even after all

of this death, I still wake up in this body, alive.